#reverbbroads – *whimper*…

What gives you nightmares?

I used to have nightmares all the time when I was a kid.  They were rarely triggered by anything particular, just the TV in my head regurgitating anything it could come up with.   Looking back, the dreams themselves were actually quite comical, but to a little kid they were rather terrifying…

As an adult, I found for a long time I only had nightmares if I slept on my back.  Since I’m a side/belly sleeper, this means I didn’t often have nightmares.  This was, until I had kids…

Ever since I had my son, I developed an irrational fear of something horrible happening to my children.  For years after having my son, I would get images in my head, out of nowhere, of horrible things happening to him and having no control over it.  We could be taking a stroll over a bridge, then suddenly my brain would generate images of my son falling to his death, with me powerless to stop it.  Then, of course, panic would set in…

My Cutie-Patooties. Wish I could say "I can't imagine anything bad happening to them."...

The problem is bad enough that I have to avoid images, TV shows and movies that show anything bad happening to a child.  A couple of years ago, a woman I knew on FB posted a video about texting and driving.  Usually these movies are pretty benign, with stories about people who have died from said topic, and there were no warnings about graphic images (which I generally consider proper netiquette to do so) , so I opted to watch it.  BIG mistake…  It was presented like a driver’s Ed scare-tactic video, showing graphic representation of mothers, fathers, children and babies being flattened by vehicles. Within the first 15 seconds, there were a total of 6 accidents.  I turned it off as quickly as I could, but the damage was already done.  I bawled my eyes out for 3 days, and had nightmares for months afterward.  It’s been years and occasionally those images will still manifest in my head…

Things have been better, probably because I’ve become very adamant about avoiding anything that has the potential of showing this type of thing.  I’ll often walk away from a video just because it has a child in it that is the focus of the story.  My poor hubby often has to let me know later if the video was safe to watch.  I doubt it will ever completely go away, but in a small way I’m ok with that, since I feel it helps to keep me more attentive about their safety.  If the trade-off is that my kids are extra well protected, then I’ll take all the scary dreams in the world…

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