#reverbbroads11 – Romance schmomance…

Do you consider yourself a romantic person? Do you prefer fancy dinners, roses and chocolate romantic, or are you more non-traditional? What’s the most romantic thing you have ever done for a loved one or had done for you?

In a word?  No.  I’m not remotely romantic, in the traditional sense of the word.  If I think back all the way to the first time I didn’t think boys had cooties, I can see the non-romantic pattern.  Formal dates always made be feel uneasy; too rehearsed, too pressured,  too forced, more like an interview than a melding of the minds.  I’m more of a “hang out, relax, be comfortable” type of gal.   Dressing up for a fancy dinner?  Unlikely.  Roses?  They’re pretty and smell nice, but they will die soon and cost too much.  Just pick me some lilacs from the bush in the backyard.

Not to mention I don’t tend to be sentimental or nostalgic.  I don’t have any little momento box where I keep all my treasured memories.  If something that was given to me as a romantic gesture is kept, it’s because there was some practical reason to do so.

What little bit of romance I might have ever had in me was squelched by my first husband.  He was heavy into romance, but it always held a price.  He would plan romantic dinners, trips away, leave cards, etc, and I always appreciated the gesture, but my lack of desire to repay him with sex enthusiasm for it would result in evenings filled with guilt trips and manipulation games.  Eventually I grew to dread anything that involved potential romance from him, because I knew it was more about the expectations/demands than a true desire to show he cared.

These days I’m happily married to a non-romantic man, one who is just as likely to forget our anniversary as I am, and I’m completely ok with that.  Back in the day when we were discussing marriage, I told him not to bother with an expensive engagement ring, since the more expensive the jewelry, the more likely I am to lose it.  Instead, I suggested getting me a new laptop.  We still have the cute little white Macbook he got me (it’s now my son’s computer).

Wanna turn me on?  Send me out for a relaxing evening alone, than have me come home to a clean house, kids in bed, and an evening filled with snuggles.  That’s what I’m talkin’ about!

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